The Sandwich Generation: Tween Chaos, Ageing Parents & Life in the Messy Middle

“Yo brooo!” my daughter yells to her sister from the next room.
Within seconds, they’re both suddenly side by side on the couch, baggy pants and tank tops on, laptops balanced precariously on their knees.

Yes… I live with tweenies.

It’s like living inside the movie set of “Dude, Where’s My Car?” , except the car is never actually found, and the “bros” are either best friends or in full-blown beef, with very little in between.

And in the middle of it all… there’s me.

Not just mum, but Uber driver, live-in maid, counsellor, snack provider, emotional referee, and general life logistics coordinator. You get the picture.

And then there’s the other side of life.

My ageing mother, and my father-in-law.

Appointments to coordinate, navigating the My Aged Care system, meals to drop off, small fixes with technology, check-ins, remembering the details that keep everything running smoothly, and often just holding the bigger picture of what they need day to day.

This is the typical scenario for the “sandwich generation”.

And no, it has nothing to do with actual sandwiches… although I am rather peckish, but I digress.

It’s the stage of life where you’re caring for your own children while also supporting your ageing parents.

And yes, you guessed it: YOU are the “meat” in the proverbial sandwich. 

When There’s No Space Between

What I’ve noticed, both personally and through my work as an occupational therapist, is that this creates a very particular kind of load.

It’s not just about being busy. It’s the constant switching between roles, responsibilities, and emotional demands across the day, often without a clear pause in between.

One moment you’re thinking about school lunches, the next you’re organising medical appointments, then troubleshooting technology, then responding to emotional needs.

It’s less about individual tasks, and more about the lack of recovery space between them.

From an occupational perspective, this is what we would describe as occupation imbalance, where the demands of daily life outweigh the opportunities for rest, restoration, and nervous system recovery.

Over time, this can show up as a sense of overwhelm, difficulty switching off, and both physical and emotional fatigue. The nervous system can begin to stay in a more sustained state of alertness, even during moments that would usually feel restful.

We are so busy that looking after ourselves can often feel like just another task on an already exhausting to-do list. It can feel about as realistic as getting my sausage dog Alfie to do the dishes. If only!

And when time is limited, self-care doesn’t need to become something separate that we have to “fit in”. Sometimes the most supportive thing we can do is embed it into what we are already doing.

Listening to a meditation while drinking your morning coffee.
Taking a few mindful breaths on a walk.
Pausing for a moment of stillness in between the everyday.

Small moments.
Already part of your everyday life.

Now, don’t judge me… but I cannot function in the morning without my coffee. I am, unapologetically, highly caffeinated. At all times. Sorry… not sorry.

But this is actually the perfect moment to build a small reset into something I’m already doing.

As the kettle boils or the coffee is made, it becomes a natural pause, a chance to slow down for just a moment, notice the sensory world around me, and come back into my body before the day really starts.

Smell. Warmth. Sound. Breath.

Nothing fancy. Just a brief return.

A Simple Morning Reset

If it helps, you might like to begin with this Morning Coffee Meditation.
This short guided practice is designed to support your nervous system through gentle breath and sensory awareness, using a moment that already exists in your day.

Listen to the audio on YouTube here -> Morning Coffee Reset 

Let this be one of those moments, not another thing to do. A brief pause you can return to whenever you need it.

In the Middle of it All

You’re holding a lot. Across different roles, different people, and different parts of your day.

It’s important that you’re supporting your kids and your parents. You honestly deserve a parade for doing so.

But you are allowed to be supported too.

Even if that begins with something small.